Feeling a way pt1

I been feeling very a way. I say a way because usually that’s how you describe someone thats acting in a manner and that  is noticeable but unidentifiable. 

I've been feeling a way so I opt-ed to staying far away. After I extinguished my hot girl gone burnout girl summer I was ready . I was ready to hop back up and get on the train .Since Im feeling better Im trying to be out of here. Hopping in the shower, putting on 5 coats of mascara (if you wear mascara don’t act like you put two coats c’mon), oiling my body up looking all African godess-y, all shiny and clean.

I go to put my clothes on and I’m trying to figure out if the yellow in my shirt go with the yellow of my sneakers. Then I sit down . Dressed, cleaned , African goddess-y with no where to go nobody to see. 

I sit on my apartment on my same old couch. I get up and walk down and sit on the other couch. I watch guilty pleasure comedy reality youtube : Thank you for the content beauty and young couple community . I get up and look at myself in the mirror . I switch my third earring hole because Im in a circles over triangles mood today. I go in the living room . Its only 12 noon. 

It was only 12 noon and I had my whole day ahead of me to do something. Then it was only 6pm and I had my whole evening to do something. Long story short, Monday came and I thought I had the whole week to go and do something, anything, everything so right now I’d stay in the house.

I got ready, right ? I’m clean and shiny now . Got my yellows matching and my third earring circular. 

So why won’t I just go outside. Why won’t you just walk up to the door open it , right foot left foot this s—- out, just go.