I wrote the piece at the bottom when I was in Georgia. I was making a trip down there after contemplating moving to Georgia for like a month or two. When I first got to Georgia there were factors that I was really upset at. I was upset that I didn't have the autonomy to get around because I can't drive ( and have a bit of a phobia too). I was also pretty upset that I didn't know anyone and was lonely for a while.
I was with my grandparents and both of them left during the day so I was left with the doggies. Sampson is my dog, the best dog, the most real. He's the baby but he's huge. Just like his momma.
My nan was sorry to me for not going out. I wrote this afterward. I wasn't appreciating my family or this stillness and I didn't want to acknowledge that. I was too busy trying to figure out how to make a home at my new "home", something that I always wanted and somehow couldn't see right in front of me in this calmness. I forgive myself too. Heres the last thing I wrote about me spending my time in Georgia. I wrote it in the second person to myself.
"Forgiveness is not as easy as you think. Forgiveness is about not stepping on eggshells because you decided to move the carton from under your feet. To run away is not to handle and not acknowledging things will not feel better. The irony that occurred internally for you were looking for people you care about but not accepting people who make mistakes. You also weren't vocal about what you did or didn't need. Just say it next time, it's okay. You like to practice what you preach, and you think that people come with many complexities. Sometimes people have to learn you, and you have to leap to say something. That's okay, you'll be fine. Any energy working toward positivity will be rewarded with positivity."
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